.i want to

leehuizhen : )
16031990
NJCip
floorball !
and seeking her purpose in life


.fight for




.what i

aretha
catherine ma
cclgmmhq
chewyan
gimlim
hazel
huijun
jayen
mer tham
peixin
priscilia goh
shihui
tsemei
yini
yunbing


NJfloorball
oh one !
R-CUBE


boredlela
ip thing



PEEKTURES

05-07 times with OH ONE

OH ONE bbq '07
OH ONE chalet '07
x'mas party '07 : )

PW '07
odyssey : )
R-CUBE
yltc '07 - trusty
ZHPS !
05-07 random nj days

08 times with 01


chingay '08


FB '07 : random moments
FB '07 : june hols camp
FB '07 : friendlies
FB '07 : nationals
FB '07 : cip

FB '08 : random moments
FB '08 : march camp


OBM '06 : )
602


.believe is


Ink Cartridges


.fair
layout: rollercoaster.ride鈾?/a>
basecodes:
detonatedlove鈾?/a>
background:
lyricaltragedy k10k
image: blackmamba
fonts: Jane Austen, Violation


.Wednesday, July 23, 2008, 10:40 PM


sometimes i really feel like this huge bitch,
when i talk to people regarding this issue
but i really cannot help it.
.
.
i have been hearing stuffs from friends
and it gets on my nerves,
the lies and wrong side of the story that 'anon'
have been shamelessly spreading around,
printing out that particular post of mine to circulate around
when they do not even know the truth behind that post.
how ridiculous to do such stuffs without clarification.
.
.
and since that apology post did not seem
to work out the way i intended it to,
because i read what was blogged about this incident
even after i had apologised
and sincerely meant it,
seems like i'd have to say it out, e x p l i c i t l y.
.
.
.
here goes.
.
that post that was so very wrongly misinterpreted
was meant for JOHN SONG.
.
.
yes, so now you know.
and may i ask, are YOU john song ?
you really should have clarified first.
.
.
indeed, he's a member of hockey
but it was meant for him and him alone.
( okae, maybe some others too but they're not from nj so i won't mention them here )
it certainly was NOT referring to hockey or any other cca in particular.
.
.
to cut things to the chase,
aretha and i had an unhappy spat about a year or so ago with john
because he said some really mean stuffs to us about floorball.
.
we were so hurt we cried
and we actually stopped talking to him for a while
( reflecting on this, childish yes i know
but you have to understand that floorball is such a huge part of nj-life that reethie and i truly love )
.
.
so yes, i just wanted to show him that we've come so far
and made it.
and when i said 'a slap'
i meant it figuratively, not literally.
it's like yknw, a figure of speech.
i mean, me slapping john ?
even john would laugh at the absurdity of this.
.
.
but seriously,
( ever since he got a nice girlfriend )
he's a changed man and he's alot nicer now
so no one should hate him anymore
and we're friends
maybe not best friends, but good friends at least
and all's happy : )
.
.
PS. i asked for his permission before writing this. erms, but not the girlfriend part. but i'm sure he'll be fine with that : )
.

.
.
knowing this,
go back and read the post again.
this time round,
try it calmly and try not to jump to conclusions too quickly.
if you read it carefully & properly
just the way i had meant it to be
you will realise that i did not and had no intention of
dissing teams which did not get top 4.
.

.
.
when i typed out my apology/clarification post
i sincerely wanted to clarify things
because no team that has trained hard
deserves to be looked down upon
as i know all too well
.

.
.
but i guess i only have myself to blame
in believing that being sincere about that apology/clarification
would resolve this issue that has no basis at all
.
but i do not regret that apology/clarification post
because it did help clear up things with some people
thankfully.
.
.
.
to 'someone' on my tagboard,
thanks for congratulating us : )
i really am glad that all's fine because i really meant no harm.
at least not to you,
since you're not john.
.
i just wished that you had clarified it with me first
before approaching miss wong.
i don't mean this in a sarcastic way or anything, i promise.
.
.
but one good thing is that,
miss wong was all nice about it
when she came to realise what we had been going through
when mer and i explained to her the basis of my post.
at least the teachers now know of our plight.
we were quite surprised that all these while
the teachers didn't know what both the floorball guys and girls were subjected to.
.

.
.
.
and to the rest who still choose to believe what's being spread around,
the other side of the story
and all the lies about stuffs that i did not do or say,
clarify it with me if you must.
.
but if you have to hate someone
i can only wish that you let it be me and not the entire team.
i don't want the team to be pulled down because of me.

and most importantly,
i do not want this feud that has arose between floorball and hockey (and other ccas, for that matter )
be 'passed down' to the juniors.
.
.
we certainly are not a bunch of 'stuck-up' people
which you will realise if you read our floorball blog.
in fact, we are lame and spastic beyond hope : )
.

.
.
.
and apparantly, 'anon' wanted to 'flame me to death'
when they did not even get the facts right about that post.
plus, i found out that one person within 'anon'
blogged some mean stuffs about me AND floorball
but thereafter decided to remove it
for reasons only (s)he knows.
and i also found out that they go around badmouthing me
by spreading lies that you will know are so absurd, if you know me.
and wells, lots of other stuffs that they have been doing that i can use against them.
.
recalling,
'anon' said alot of people dislike me
and if you know what i just recently heard about anon ...
.

.
.
i really want to spill all
but before that
i shall not blow things up beyond proportion the same way they did.
i will first clarify if what i know is true
maybe approach miss wong if i find out that they did approach miss wong
and let mer talk to someone regarding this issue first.
.
.
then, i'll decide what to do.
.
.
for now, if even after all these
you still begrudge me for that post,
then really,
i have nothing to say.
.
and i really don't bother
because i know i've done my best to salvage this
said what i have to say, did what i needed to do.
.
.
this should not even have happened in the first place.
it's scary how someone can blow something up to this proportion.

.

.
.
.
enough of this issue for now.
i'm sorry if i sounded like a bitch in any way above,
but if you only knew all of what is happening
you'll understand.
.
.
-----------------------------------------------------
.

.
ANYWAYS.
happier stuffs.
.
.
it was prize presentation for nationals today.
.
we went early to watch the finals and i tell you
finals are fast, furious and violent.
.
but when you see the players fighting with all their might
and supporters cheering their lungs out,
you just stare at the scene in awe.
.
.
i just want to say that every team in this nationals
deserve both admiration and respect,
whether or not they clinched a medal.
.
& it's so amazing that we're all opponents,
but working toward the same goal.
different teams,
but playing our hearts out and fighting hard all the same.
.

.
.
.
so, results.
.
GUYS
1st : RJC
2nd : MJC
3rd :YJC
4th :VJC
.
.
GIRLS
1st : MJC
2nd :YJC
3rd :RJC
4th :NJC
.

.
and i tell you we were like some noobs.
.
when the announcer announced,
'and in fourth place for the girls we have NJC',
we totally did not know what type of procedure we had to follow to go up and receive our medals.
omg, just the type of thing you get from a team like us.
hahaha.
.
.
so the announcer had to instruct us.
.

.
.
now, pictures : )











the EXCO : )

LINE ONE.


ST. NICKS GIRLS !

the TEAM that i love : )
.

.

.
.

.

.

the reality that my time in floorball is really over, is dawning upon me.

but i'm trying my best to delay this feeling.



.Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 11:15 PM


GIRLS : NJC vs RJC
score : 2-5


last game, last nationals
how saddening and unfortunate to end it with a lost.

( we suspect that tampines is bad fengshui for njc )

and this means that we're 4th in the top 4.



but nevertheless, despite the losses in this season
against MJC and RJC,

we have gained so much in so many other ways.
in comparison, the medal now is seemingly just a piece of metal.


it's not the metal we're happy about.



it's about the team that has formed
a fighting team, a winning team, a team of love.

it's about the strong bonds that were forged
within the girls, between the guys and girls, with our respected and beloved coach.

it's about how we've proved ourselves
putting in tireless efforts and achieving the aim we set for ourselves.




we fought hard, poured tears and sweat
and despite being at the bottom of top 4
i am so proud of all of us
being part of this team is my pride and joy










watching the movie 'mr bean's holiday' from the mirror reflection since it allows everyone to have a view as the screen isn't blocked : ) hahaha !
.
i swear, watching mr bean can be so frustrating sometimes because the things he do are so so so dumb ! omg.





.


.
i hate for this to end.


.Monday, July 21, 2008, 11:38 PM



let's see, where do i start ?
.
.
i now have an inkling who 'anon' on my tagboard is
or are, for that matter.
.
.
.
miss wong told me today
( mer was there too, but that's beside the point )
that a group of people
complained to her and expressed unhappiness
over my blog post dated Saturday, 12 July.
.
.
they felt offended.
they felt like i was saying that the effort put into trainings of teams which did not clinch top 4 was of no use.
.
they demanded for a public apology on this blog
& removal of that part of the post.
.
.
.
this, is a perfect instance of how language is so powerful.
when i type 'a',
some see it as a letter, some see it as a word.
.
.
.
so i went back to read my post,
and i do not deny that it is easily misinterpreted.
.
miss wong said she asked 2 GP tutors to read that section,
and they too felt that it could be pretty misleading.
.
.
.
.
so of importance, the apology.
i do not make this apology unwillingly or grudgingly
because it is something i have to do,
something i want to do.
.
.
because 'sorry' shouldn't be the hardest word to say.
.
.
i'm sorry if what i wrote came off the wrong way.
i do not deny that the post was meant to offend
( and in that way, maybe my heart does indeed have an ugly side.
i really do try my best to be a good person but sometimes circumstances do not allow. )
but it was probably too subtle that it offended people i did not mean to offend.
.
.
.
.
i have friends too
who belong to teams that did not clinch top 4.
i mean, the floorball guys did not get top 4
(they got a 5th out of 10 teams, which is pretty good if you ask me )
so you can be absolutely sure that i did not mean
to show any form of disrespect or despise
toward people of this category.
.
.
me, especially
should know how it's like to put in so much
effort sweat energy time into a sport i love
to fight so damn hard just for that coveted metal.
.
.
and i respect all sportsmen for that.
determination, perseverence, pure hardwork.
.
.
if the group of people who complained
are who i think they are,
then all the more so i do not mean to show disrespect
because i can see how hard they too trained.
and maybe they didn't know,
but we floorball girls were rooting for them
when they were having their season.
.
it's always nice to have an nj team emerge winner.
.
.
.
.
.
you must understand
where i came from while writing that post.
.
.
before njfloorball secured the top 4 position,
do you have any idea at all what we had to deal with ?
even miss wong was pretty surprised to know, when we told her today.
.
.
'eh, train so hard for what ? pointless one la.'
'train so much also won't win one right, train for what?'
'don't need to fight so hard for venue la, also won't win.'
.
.
yes, and these are just the tip of the iceberg.
friends say it, stangers feel it.
.
we may hide it,
but we do feel hurt,
for something that we treasure so much to be insulted so easily,
& by so many.
.
.
.
.
when i was typing that post
my mind had the faces of a few specific people
definitely not teams in particular
and never did i imagine that it would offend people
whom i do not have the right to offend in such a way
and for that
again, i'm really sorry.
.
.
.
i guess i did not fully consider the fact that this blog is public,
free for all to view.
and that language can be confusing.
.
.
.
how should i put it ?
.
i wanted to highlight the fact that njfloorball made it,
but to demean the effort of any team was not within my intentions.
i wasn't even trying to say that the effort of the people i was referring to is any less worthy than ours.
to me, all true effort deserve equal respect.
i was just trying to show them how wrong they were to belittle us.
.
yes, that's it.
.
.
.
.
i told miss wong that maybe i should talk to the people who complained
because this post could so very easily be misinterpreted again.
clarifying it personally would help clear things up much faster.
but she discouraged it.
.
.
so, i'm hoping this post works out fine.
.
.
.
.
initially
i thought of asking for an apology too,
for the mean tags, if it were by the same people.
but when i saw the not-so-nice tags that friends said to defend me
i thought, ( quotes shihui )'what the hell, an eye for an eye makes the world go blind'
.
enough of all the mean-ness from both sides, yea ?
but thanks, i felt the love : ) really.
.
.
.
.
after reading this
i hope the people who complained are appeased
& that all misunderstandings are cleared up.
.
.
to others whom i have offended all the same,
you must know that it really is unintentional
so long as you have not shown disrespect toward njfloorball.
.
.
.
.
.
.
that's all.


.Saturday, July 19, 2008, 11:45 PM



when that star in the sky has dimmed
& hope is frail
who knows,
a miracle might just happen.
.
.
.
how many people in this world
truly cares
deeply loves
& really bothers ?
.
.
.
maybe all this while
i'm just waiting
for a whirlwind romance
to sweep me off my feet
.
.
.
raindrops falling
leaves swaying
babies
are all pretty sights
.
.
.
sincerity
innocence
truth
are what this world lacks


.Friday, July 18, 2008, 10:07 PM


GIRLS : NJC vs MJC
score : 1 - 5


lost.



seriously, i don't even want to talk about today.


the moment that final whistle was blown,
i felt so mentally tired and drained
i can't even find the right words to express myself right.




this loss,
i don't even know how i'm supposed to be dealing with it
considering the fact that i didn't play much today
only for the last period, out of 3.



it's like this whole mess of emotions
i just feel like crying myself to sleep,
just need a hug to take all these away,
a voice to tell me 'it's okae'.


have you ever felt like that before ?





that throbbing sadness that dwells in my heart,
because we could have done so much better
because a win was so near our reach
yet it's gone just like that.


that uncertainty of feeling sad
because maybe,
i don't even have the right to say that i should have done better
that i should have pushed myself harder
because i played so much less than the rest
and i know the rest did give their all.


the feeling of being inadequate
not as good as the rest to play the full game.
it's such a horrible feeling,
wanting so much to fight for the team that i love
to fight for what our team truly deserves
yet only able to sit at the side and watch.




even though coach said
that what matters most is that i know i played my best whenever i'm on court
and that others can see it,
it does not erase how i'm feeling right now.


i hate knowing that i didn't contribute
as much as i could,
as much as i should
to the team today.
for that, i'm sorry team.




i will not say that if i had played more

things would surely have been different
because i know i'm not that good
and i know it's something that had to be done
because my defence is not as strong
and today we needed a strong tight defence
more than we needed attacking




but i'd be lying if i say
that i'm unaffected that i played less today
and could not contribute as much as i wanted to.




it's really not an individualistic thing
that goes along the lines of being unhappy
that i didn't get the chance to shine on court and all that.

it's the fact that i hate not being able to contribute,
to fight like how those on court are fighting
for our team, for our pride
for njc floorball.


maybe it's because it's my last nationals
maybe it's because it's my second last game
maybe it's because i love this team too much





i guess you won't understand how i feel.

it's such a ... sour-sad, heartwrenching feeling in my heart right now.
i tear up everytime i think about it
and my eyes are hurting and tired from all that crying earlier on.




but like what coach says,
the score ends tonight
this game ends tonight
and tuesday will be a new game for all of us.



and here are the people i've come to love,
truly deeply sincerely.


.Sunday, July 13, 2008, 11:53 PM


once in a while,
have you ever looked at the clouds
& think that they must be the prettiest things ?


just there, floating by
overlooking the world
the world that rushes on



when the sun's up, they're white & fluffy
when the sun's setting, they could be red, orange or yellow
and sometimes, after the sun's gone down
they're a scary red amidst the black background

when it's going to rain,
they seemingly are the scariest things.




isn't it weird that clouds are made up of water vapour,
yet we're able to see them so clearly ?
weird, but amazing still.

.
.







.
.

.
all taken today,
from the view outside my window.
really.

.
.

.
.
.
.

nature never fails, to cheer one up.

but we do not do unto nature, what nature does unto us.



.Saturday, July 12, 2008, 11:59 PM


when i woke up today
the first thing that flashed through my mind was

TOP 4



& i felt like
i was still in some beautiful dream i never want to wake up from.



but oh wait,
it's reality.
: ) : ) : )



see, that's how surreal it still is to me.

and to the rest of the girls too, i'm sure.




check these out, relating to our match against VJC.

report :
http://redsports.sg/2008/07/12/njc-vjc-floorball/

picture gallery :
http://redsports.sg/gallery/?lzkfile=floorball%2F08+A+Girls_NJC+vs+VJC%2F





in my opinion,
our team does deserve every single bit of this.

to bask in this happiness
and smile at the thought of it
to swell with pride


we trained so hard
& fought so badly for it
you have no idea.



this win is a slap to those
who ever belittled us.

& they know who they are.
people in school, people outside school.

especially people in school
who ever once mentioned that we're slack
who ever once hinted that we'll never make it.

ever more so a slap to them
if they belong to a sports cca
who didn't clinch the top 4 title
and still have the cheek
to despise us.
here's a big HAH to you.

even if you're my friend.


yes, they know who they are.
i'm sure they do.


i feel so ... indignant, when i think of such people.
what right do they have ?




sweet revenge.





but this win is so much more than that.


it's a win for ourselves, a team of weird people who love one another, despite all weirdness.
for coach & coach especially, who never gave up on us, even though the school pays him so damn little.
for mer, who has been a great captain in all our hearts, but she doesn't know it.


but i'll keep such thank you speeches till after the A divs.
it'll be more appropriate then.


for now i'll just say,
only we know how hard we've worked for this.


it's a win for a team that's almost family,
a team that truly deserves it,
a team that can be described using one word - LOVE.






somewhere out there
beneath the pale moonlight
someone's thinking of me
& loving me tonight


.Friday, July 11, 2008, 10:44 PM


GIRLS : NJC vs VJC
score : 7 - 3



we won !
and that means ...
a confirmed TOP 4
at the very very least


it feels like, a miracle
a dream that finally came true
a surreal experience


after being down 0-2 after the first period
i got to admit that i felt a little demoralised
but we made a stunningly beautiful comeback
& i think we ourselves were pleasantly surprised


because the ball is round
and anything, ANYTHING can happen




here's showing all who looked down upon / despised / underestimated / us
what we are made of

& here's a win for all who supported / believed / respected us
this win is for them as much as it is for us


thanks guys for coming down to support us ! : )



and now, 2 more matches
to decide where we are amongst the top 4 teams
which includes MJC, YJC & RJC
1st, 3rd & 4th of last year's nationals
if i'm not mistaken

and because MJC won RJC in today's match
we'll be playing against MJC for semi-finals instead of RJC
hmm ...


P.S. semi-finals will be on friday (18 june) and if anybody wants to come down to support us, just tell any girl floorballer by this weekend & you'll get an official excuse, provided your subject tutors of the lessons you'll be missing does not violently object. match is @ tampines sports hall, 1pm. mr menon don't allow. only floorball teams are excused : ( oh wells.




but really, like what chanbingxin & i always joke
half our brain has already relaxed
now we can truly play without worries
and who knows, with less stress less pressure
we may play even better : )






seriously, everything has paid off

15+ months of trainings
6 trainings a week during holidays
3 stickwork trainings every week
2 morning PTs every week
1 team striving and fighting so damn hard
and so much more




now the medal is in our hands
the victory is ours to savour
& the pride we have for being part of njcfloorball
is stronger then ever before

( of course, not forgetting attending njc's colours award as a team, which hopefully is a 9 course dinner at some high class restaurant like the one held a few years back, according to bingxin & huijun. hahaha. )



we have truly come so so far.




and so before the match today
after we were excused from lessons & hanging around the gym
besides watching this 'land before time' cartoon
we had this session where everyone had to complete the following sentence.

' i love the team because ... '


and here are the heartwarming responses.

.
.
.



ABBY : ... we've been through so much together and they're like my nj family, caring for each other and just being there for each other.

ABI : ... i feel comfortable when i'm with them : )

BINGXIN : ... cos of the people : Captain Alliance, Kungfu Panda (yucks), mer mer merlion, and more which i will not state as by process of elimination, you all will know who i am. haha. actually i'm mer. i wrote my own name to trick you guys.

CAT : ... everybody loves everybody for who they are and because we keep our fighting spirit up regardless of what happens on court.

CHEWYAN : ... we are one whole united lot, all equally wanting to win nationals, equally spastic. haha !

FANGYEE : ... i feel comfortable with everyone in the team !

HUIZHEN : ... even though everyone is special and unique in so many ways, when we come together, it's like we're family : ) sisters from another mother, yo !

JASMINE : ... it is full of weird and fun people xD xD xD

JENNA : ... of all the wild crazy people that make it so fun so fun :D xD

JUN : ... we don't compete against one another, we don't try and outdo each other but instead we are always trying to help each other improve. muack muack.

KAHYEE : ... of the fun we had together.

LIYING : ... everyone is so nice and fun !

MER : ... we have never failed to support one another, we care for one another. i love the team because they love me, and because we're fighters.

PRIS : ... we are close to each other despite our differences ( eg. sueping is weird ) and we are so crappy.

REETHIE : ... we do not need words to know how each of us is feeling. that's because as a team we share the same sentiments, the same goals, the same aspirations, the same love : )

SUEPING : ... we are a team !

TER : ... we're weird, because we're insane, because we're always happy and strong, because we define floorball as nj floorball.

YINI : they do the stupidest things together




oh and after the match, val treated us to her cupcakes that she baked !
it was really yummy, like how all the stuffs that she bakes are, hahaha.
she wrote a note to us and it reads :






" dear njcfloorballers (girls), no matter what happens, Y'ALL WON !!! :) :) you guys will always be the are the champions in my eyes :) "


take note.
the green ink was written before the match
and the black ink was written after the match.

hahaha !




okae this post has been going on and on and on.


to end off,
yesterday we saw 2 rainbows.
a rainbow has 7 colours.

today,
we scored 7 goals.


it's stunningly beautiful, indeed.


maybe things do happen for a reason.








i know you're near sometimes
but then i pretend
because i'm afraid
that my feelings
will turn into a joke.

i'd rather keep it secret
all to myself.
this way,
the sweetness i feel will last
longer than it probably should.


.Thursday, July 10, 2008, 9:27 PM


nowadays my mind is so preoccupied with nationals
i can't seem to get any proper work done
it's just bits and pieces that i'm trying to complete
.
.
.
.
anyways.
.
we girls went down to support the guys today
against MI
and what can i say ?
we screamed & yelled & got so high
i was like, perspiring
not alot but considering that the place was air-conditioned ...
.
.
so so so,they won : )
5-4
everyone was estatic !
i mean, everyone who's on nj's side
which is ... mostly us nj people
hahaha





.
.

despite everything and anything
including everything and anything
i am proud to be part of
njc floorball 2007 - 2008 : )
.
.
.
.
.
.
after PT this morning,
when the raining was falling
and the sun was still shining at its best
we girls saw not one
but TWO beautiful rainbows in the sky.
.
.
& hopefully,
that signals something beautiful yet to happen.




.
.
.
.

& so we play the game of our lives
play it hard
enjoy it well
.
.
.
.
feel it so strong
so afraid to say it
it seems so near
as if with a stretch
it'll be in our palms
yet, somehow almost unbelievable
.
.
something so stunningly beautiful


.Wednesday, July 09, 2008, 11:07 PM


GIRLS : NJC vs MI
score : 6 - 0



we won : )
and cheers to that.



i must say,
MI is a team deserving respect
they fought hard
and despite their loss
they were never sore losers
warmly shaking hands with us
and smiling at us too.

so, cheers to them too.


( unlike those who blogged all the shit about us playing dirty and referees being biased. )



times like these
truly show who are the winners at heart

there isn't only one way to win.



today was better because wells,
we were relatively more calm i guess.
yknw, like the first match jitters & butterflies are gone.
yupps, something like that.





& i'm really really really grateful & thankful
that this year's referees are good.

a repeat of last year would just be, bad.




group stage - 2 down, 1 more to go.




& guess what we did before the match in preparation.

one. watched 'a night in the museum' @ the dance studio. it was h i l a r i o u s. and ben stiller really has such a spastic face.
two. eat cat's bananas on the bus. sadly, no red bull today, hahaha.
three. be our usual crappy stupid lame weird selves.

hahaha, no really.



i love muacks xoxo hugsss my team : )


.Monday, July 07, 2008, 11:04 PM


one day, i'll learn photography.
.
because so many things in the world

are worth being caught on film
.
.
captured, forever.

.
.
.













it's a pity that people aren't like pictures,
taking a while before fading away
leaving you time to realise and adjust.
.
.
people change too fast,
faster than the camera lens
can click shut & open
to permanently retain what exists
.
.
.
and before you can say what you want to,
what you meant to,
the person you knew had crept away
the feelings that were once burning
are now cold,
blown away by some passing wind.
.
.
.
.
.
then you're left alone with your thoughts
& memories that only you cherish
you feel like crying
you feel like screaming
you feel like asking, ' why ? '
.
.
.
.
but this question,
is never answered.


.Friday, July 04, 2008, 10:57 PM


GIRLS : NJC vs YJC
score: draw, 1 all



last nationals, first match


i'm relieved, to say the least.

thankful
satisfied, but not happy.


but i won't say that
we should have won,

it was a tough fight.



we didn't play well
as compared to all those other times

when we were more confident, less scared
when we were more calm, less panicky.



being scared & nervous today
really, was my downfall




i don't wish to disappoint
& i truly wanted to play my best
but things just didn't go the way
i wanted it to.






i look at my team
the guys & the girls
and i really love them all

.
.
.
.




.Thursday, July 03, 2008, 10:31 PM



it's here it's here it's here


it was
half a year
three months
one month
one week

and now,
approximately 17 hours



NATIONALS ARE FINALLY HERE.


i feel a whole mess of emotions.
scared excited fast-pounding-heart nervous expectant butterflies-in-stomach hopeful
.
more scared than excited
more nervous than hopeful
.
.
& i really don't know if it's a good thing or not.
.
.

maybe my hopes are too high
maybe ... a lot of other things
.
.
.
but nevertheless
now or never
.
there's no more time for hesitation
no space for weakness or fear to surface
.
bury bury bury them all, i must.
.
.
.

i will be confident
i will have faith in my team
i will enjoy all the games
i will not have any regrets


too much to lose
so much to gain


& i want it so badly




here we go


.Wednesday, July 02, 2008, 11:33 PM


yesterday
was a happy day
it's my quiet little secret
: )
everytime
& i smile secretly to myself

sometimes
i hope it's your quiet little secret too
and that maybe
you're secretly smiling to yourself too

but it seems too much a fantasy
unattainable, impossible


just from afar
that's all i dare to wish for





enjoyed collecting freebies during career fair with floorballers
enjoyed going around doing lame+weird+random+hilarious stuffs with floorballers after school
enjoyed pranking mer that ter sprained an ankle
enjoyed mo-ing (touching) kinphang's shaved head (his hair is like, soft. HAHAHA.)
enjoyed talking with floorball guys, even if they're super duper uber boliao
enjoyed training + free red bull
enjoyed bus ride back home


that about sums up the good stuffs of today
and, oh wow
all of them involves floorballers
: )


tell me, why am i not surprised ?





enjoyed seeing you around today, too.


.Monday, June 30, 2008, 11:52 PM


of today,


i slept @ 3am last night, rushing out the H3 econs 2000 words book review, but miraculously i didn't feel sleepy during school today : )


during lessons, i kept thinking about narnia which i watched on channel 5 yesterday. how nice how nice, the movie. i really like the lion, aslan. and yes, time well-spent wasted on watching narnia resulted in me churning out the book review till 3am.


some unidentified-yellow-long-vigorously-spinning object attacked reethie & i. we screamed in horror and ducked as fast as our reflexes allowed us to, because we seriously thought it was some gigantic insect. then it fell onto the floor. a leaf, that was what it was. it was so damn hilarious we both made another commotion with our laughters, people studying in the raintree looked at us irritatedly. we're sorry, it's the leaf's fault for looking like some mutated insect out to unleash it's wrath upon us.
.

.
.

.

other than that, it was just the usual walking listlessly from classrooms to classrooms, looking at clocks waiting for lessons to be over
, training after school, 74 bus ride back home with the exclusive 74 gang.

.

.

nothing much my life, really.

.

.

.

.

.
.
& eye to eye,

it's been a long time.
that split second,
made my day.